According to that cultural goldmine called the Urban Dictionary, "Girl Next Door" is a rather open-ended phrase:
Every guy may have his specific girl-next-door prototype, but in general, she's the girl whom you always admired from afar and were afraid to approach.
Girl Next Door Baked Goods, on the other hand, should not be pined-for from afar. These goods are meant to be enjoyed up close and personal.
And that's just what we got to do this week, when they sent us a sweet parcel loaded with love-themed Valentine's Day treats. And it came with a sultry three-part card:
"Do Chiles & Chocolate get you a little hot?" beckoned the first fold of the card.
Well, no, not after that sriracha-brownie incident, but I powered on.
"Sometimes Love Hurts. A Hot Blonde will help ease the pain," it said on the second fold. Now, that's more like it. Blondies are my weakness, and these ones were a delight: dense, brown-sugary nuggets of buttery butterscotch awesomeness.
and finally: "If chocolate doesn't work, try bourbon-soaked cherries. If that doesn't work, check his pulse." Well, I'll never know about this one as an aphrodisiac because I ate it all by myself, and it made me feel loved during every bite.
OF course, the cute card ended there, with an invitation to "get a crush on Girl Next Door Baked Goods", but the pleasure didn't. The parcel also contained a sampling of other brownie flavors (all served in tiny, but very potent, portions), a small bag of peanut butter cookies, and something called the "husband bait"--a buttery bar cookie with strawberry preserves and cream cheese. "Would this have made you want to marry me if you hadn't already?" I asked Mr. Spy, but he was too busy eating to answer me.
So, I guess I'd have to say it's true: CakeSpy's got a crush on Girl Next Door Baked Goods. Get a crush yourself--visit gndbakedgoods.com.